“We need to read more,” my husband says to me as he hits the lights. We had just finished a 3-episode Netflix binge, spending our only time together for the day staring at the TV screen.
I don’t disagree.
I grew up reading old-school books. Paper books. Tangible pages to turn, dusty smells to inhale. There was a time when I didn’t go anywhere without a book. My parents instilled a love of reading in my sister and me, which I will be forever thankful for. These days it’s all tech, all the time. The ways of the book are (nearly) gone, but not forgotten.
“They don’t love you like this when they’re older.”
It’s 7:30 am. I’m sitting in bed, beside my slumbering 8-month-old daughter. I’m up writing this post, though technically I’ve been up since 4:42 am when she first cried out in the early morning darkness.
There is baby monitor in the babies’ area, which is essentially pointless because we share the one wall that exists in our 800 sq ft condo. There is no door to the twins’ area, only three panels of curtains that we recently installed, which is why I call it an “area” vs. a nursery.
My point here is that thanks to our close proximity, and the static-laden monitor camera, her cries were amplified to a degree that no sleep-deprived new mom (or dad) wants to hear before the sun comes up.
In case you’ve been living under the same rock as I have (aka the new-mom-of-twins rock), you should know that this year on October 17th, Canada will become the second nation – and the first G7 Country — in the world to legalize marijuana. And no, the first country is not the Netherlands, contrary to popular belief and infamous Amsterdam coffee shops. (Spoiler alert: it’s Uruguay).
Firstly, just to be clear, it’s the minivan that’s cool, not me.
Secondly, I would like to apologize for my slightly misleading title. I am not yet an actual minivan mom, but -as much as I am fighting it- the countdown is on to the inevitable.
When I first found out I was having twins, I was kind of in shock. Actually, to say I was in shock would be the understatement of 2017. I laughed, I cried, I laughed and cried simultaneously and blubbered through my confused tears, “Oh my god, I need a new car.”
“Baby Girl, why do you hate sleep?”
That’s how the conversation starts, every day around 10:00 am when the twins first nap should be taking place. This question is usually followed by. “Sleep is sooooo good for you. When you’re older you will LOVE sleep. Mommy loves to sleep. Mommy wishes she was sleeping right now.” Now, I use the word “conversation” loosely as my daughter is 6 months old, and, as we all know, no amount of bargaining or reasoning will win over an infant.
Doesn’t mean I don’t try every single day.
Here’s something I learned in a trial by fire kinda way: my twin babies rarely make it through the day in one outfit. And by rarely I, of course, mean never. My record to date is 8 clothing changes between the two of them, at a 5:3 ratio for Hayden to Hunter. With Hayden being superstar spitter-upper, and me still not quite figuring out how to put on a boy’s diaper (penis goes DOWN, Kels, penis goes down), I am basically changing her top and his bottoms every few hours.
Well, we’ve made it to the 3-month mark. The twins are gaining weight, I’m still alive despite being drained of life on an hourly basis, and my husband and I are still speaking to each other. So, I guess that means that we are doing well, all things considered.
My babies were overall very good newborns. They would sleep, eat, poop or pee all over me, and then go right back to sleep. They spent anywhere from 14-18 hours sleeping and were basically koalas. As we approach the 3-month mark their temperaments have changed a little; they are sleeping way less during the day and eating way more. When they are both awake and hangry, it’s time to send in the troops.
Time has evaporated and the twins are now 2 months old. I don’t know when that happened, but I chalk it up to the fact that I am living my life on a continuous loop and if they were actually 2 years old, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Can I please get a show of hands for every parent who is overwhelmed by their baby’s health information? Now, how about combining the general overwhelm with being a first-time parent and newborn fog, Now, how about all of that… plus twins. Welcome to my world.